(acrylic on cardboard + real feathers)
“The ultimate function of prophecy is not to tell the future, but to make it.”
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
I’ve always disliked the phrase ‘people don’t change’. Of course we change. If we didn’t change we’d forever remain demanding toddlers, moody teenagers or self-absorbed twenty-something-year-olds. Granted, there are some people with narcissistic personality disorders who have problems changing. However, if you’re not a narcissist, chances are you have changed quite significantly during your life time. Change is constant and it’s usually for the best. With that in mind I have no problems changing my old paintings. I’d like to think for the best…
I have to backtrack a bit. I originally created this painting when I was about twenty. There was an inscription on it that said ‘how do you picture an angel of death?’ The artwork was a self-portrait. Little did I know that this painting would foretell my own destiny.
Within the next decade I lost a number of people who were very dear to me including my first love, the first boy I kissed who was also my best friend, as well as a man who was the love of my life.
My ‘relationship’ with death went even farther because every single one of my pets and even random animals were seemingly choosing to die in my presence.
If I would find an injured animal it’d die right in my arms covered by my tears. It happened quite often and it made me really upset. Why could not they die 2 minutes prior to me finding them? Why the universe wanted me to witness so much death? Why couldn’t I be spared the agony of watching a living being taking its last breath? Eventually I managed to let go of my frustrations and took it as a sign that I was strong and comforting enough to be chosen to witness someone’s final moments.
Fast forward to the recent past. Some time ago a friend told me I should create art under an assumption that my paintings influence both my world and my destiny.
I always think about most of my artwork as ‘happy’. However, my friend’s suggestion made me realize that in the past I’ve created art that was somewhat dark and that indeed shaped or (at least) foretold my future. Like my ‘angel of death’ self-portrait.
If my friend’s belief was right I had just the right solution to remedy the problem. I brought my self-portrait from the basement, where it resided for many years and painted over it.
I made myself into a happy steampunk angel with a gear for a halo and I replaced the old inscription with ‘Gear up’. I’m feeling the changes already! The gears of destiny are in motion and this angel is ready for all the positive changes ahead!