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Expressionistic gold and blue painting of a young bride crying
**click portrait to enlarge**
(oil painting on cardboard, 20X28, 2000)

"The Crying Bride"

The bride in the painting was originally toothless. Not completely. She was missing one tooth. It made for a somewhat disturbing art and at some point I took pity on her and painted the tooth in.

I created the toothless version of the painting after I dreamt of a wedding. I was the bride and I started loosing teeth in a middle of the reception. The dream was so vivid and disturbing that I decided to research it. I already knew that in the Ukrainian folk tradition it signified the approaching death of somebody very close to the dreamer. I was young and having somebody close to me die just was not an option I was willing to accept, so I chose to look for an alternative explanation.

I went to a local library and after spending a few days with Dr. Freud I found a theory of his that semi-fit what I was searching for. According to Freud a dream similar to mine represented the fear of impotence, (but of course!). I figured that since it was physically impossible for me to become impotent I must be afraid of losing something else essential to my being. Combined with the appearance of a wedding in my dream I came to a conclusion that I must be afraid of getting married and losing my identity.

I must also mention that I had my dream at the time when my then-boyfriend and I started seriously discussing getting married. In the end, we never did get married, and it took me a few years and a very tragic event to realize that my dream was prophetic after all. The young man I was making plans to wed died after a car accident he was in. Somebody was trying to warn me. I just chose not to believe it.

"Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce

"For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked."
Bill Cosby

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
Germaine Greer

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
Friedrich Nietzsche