**click portrait to enlarge**
(collage painting on cardboard, 30X40, 2005)
"In the dark"
I guess the best way to describe this painting is to call it my take on Edvard Munch's "The Scream". Although my piece depicts an internal scream or 'a scream of the soul' as the Russians call it. As someone who prefers to practice restrain when it comes to public displays of emotions I decided that my interpretation of "the Scream" would be truer to my personality if I portrayed it with just a stare.
Phlegmatic by nature I was never big on drama. Although I grew up with a grandmother who was the grandmaster of drama she also taught me how to find humor in everything. Sarah Bernhardt would've been jealous if she could see the theatrics displayed by my grandmother whenever we were fighting. However, once we would stop fighting we could always count on having a good laugh about whatever was said in the heat of the moment.
My childhood was a very amusing dramedy, but it also laid a foundation for my mental strength as an adult. I was blessed to realize at an early age that drama begets drama and life is too short to concentrate on negative things and to blow little things out of proportions.
I feel that nowadays people don't teach their children about the importance of getting over things. Everything is over-dramatized. Everything scars for life. Everybody ends up in therapy. At least half of the people I meet remind me of the person in Munch's "The Scream". Anxious, stressed out and on a verge of a nervous breakdown they could benefit from remembering that for thousands of years humans struggled with the same issues as we do today (if not worse) and somehow everyone miraculously survived without happy pills or therapy.
"For as long as I can remember I have suffered from a deep feeling of anxiety which I have tried to express in my art."
"A person himself believes that all the other portraits are good likenesses except the one of himself."
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."