"In search of happiness"
(oil & collage painting on canvas, 16X20, 2009)
“To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."
Gustave Flaubert
"The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum."
Havelock Ellis
Having a purpose in life makes people happy. Painting makes me happy and since I’ve decided to dedicate my life to art I managed to unite my purpose in life and my pursuit of happiness into one. Of course, my choice has its downfalls. When I don’t paint for a while - I become depressed and feel guilty for wasting time that I should’ve spent painting.
Although I’m perfectly happy just enjoying little things in life, like scratching my cat’s belly or just breathing in deeply the fragrant air of late summer evenings, I still tend to go to extremes. I can start a painting and would go on working until its finished, even if it means that I would only take breaks in order to get some sleep. Working also prevents me from over-analyzing everything. I’m an optimist, but I think I’m more of a reluctant optimist and sometimes I see myself as somewhat of a George Costanza who can’t believe that things can be just good.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be an airhead. Would I be unconditionally happy because I wouldn’t understand that there are always conditions placed on happiness? Would I trade my current nature to be carelessly happy and would I be satisfied with that sort of happiness? I feel that my answer would be ‘no’. I don’t think people were meant to be happy every moment of their lives. If they were - happiness would loose its meaning. I think happiness feels the greatest when one has to work hard for it and when one can fully realize just how valuable it is.
